How Build a strong Self-Esteem

Self Improvement


Lately I’ve been constantly searching for ways to develop a strong self-esteem by reading books in the area of this subject and I must admit that the best book for self-esteem that I found was:

The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem – Nathaniel Branden

Before jumping right in the content of the book, I’d like to firstly define what self-esteem is… therefore, wikipedia states that:

In sociology and psychology, self-esteem reflects a person’s overall subjective emotional evaluation of his or her own worth. It is a judgment of oneself as well as an attitude toward the self.

Self-esteem encompasses beliefs about oneself, (for example, “I am competent”, “I am worthy”), as well as emotional states, such as triumph, despair, pride, and shame.

With other words:

Self-esteem reflects the way you see and judge yourself.

So how do you raise your self-esteem so that you could have a healthy self-esteem?

Meaning that you’d view yourself as worthy of anything that you desire and have a strong feeling that you can be triumphant in anything that you do, how do you achieve that?

Nathaniel Branden was a Canadian–American psychotherapist and writer known for his work in the psychology of self-esteem. He divides the needs for having a powerful self-esteem in 6 pillars and those are:

1. Living Consciously

In order to have higher self-esteem, you need to be conscious of what you are doing.

By being real, I don’t think that everyone can achieve a state of being conscious of every action that he or she takes but living consciously is a different thing and it reflects the idea of knowing what really is happening around you.

2. Self-Acceptance

This could be harder for some and easier for others but the art of self acceptance can be easily spelled like this:

Improve what you can and Accept what you can’t.

3. Self-Responsibility

Well, responsibility means that you are accepting that YOU are the cause and the solution of the matters around you.

Just by stopping in playing the victim can raise your self-esteem.

4. Self-Assertiveness

Stop ignoring your authentic self when it comes to social practices.

A healthy self-esteem means that you should be assertive, meaning that you should be grounded in your beliefs and never change your beliefs for someone else if it’s not productive for your own being.

It’s alright to be obtrusively energetic especially in pursuing particular goals.

5. Living Purposefully

Why do you do the things that you do right now? Why do you live in this moment that you are reading this post?

The best response for those kind of questions are quite simple,  because you are doing IT.

You are living because you are living and therefore, you are engaged into a deep experience called life.

You can see it as a game or as a dance, whatever you wish to see it like but always remember that you can always choose what kind of experience you want to be in.

6. Personal Integrity

Personal integrity is an innate moral conviction to stand against things that are not virtuous or morally right.

This makes individuals do what they think is right regardless of the consequences attached with their decisions. People with high personal integrity are usually describes as trustworthy, loyal, generous, wise and mature

You can take these 6 pillars as needs that need to be solved in order for you to have a strong self-esteem.

Before ending, if you wish to see a visual description of what this book has to offer, watch the following video:


Hope you’ll have a great day!

Author – Axentioi Alexandru